Wayback Wednesday!

Why hello there my loves. 

My local radio station has this running program called "Timeline". I am sure you can guess what this does, but I better explain just in case. "Timeline" plays songs from the past and today they played from 2008. I had never realised how many songs from 2008 I just loved until today. Driving home they played at least 6 songs and out of those 6 songs, I loved 100% of them, both in 2008 and now. 

Taking inspiration from that program, I thought I would start a weekly update on one of my favourite songs from a different year. These will be Wednesday posts, I promise. 

This week it is Newton Faulkner - Dream Catch Me.
This song is just perfect and I could listen to it for days!

See you soon!!

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P.S There will be another post from me this week (: 

Dealing with Loss,

I was 12, I remember the day distinctly and I remember the year like it was just yesterday. I didn't go see her, I couldn't. I couldn't see the best person in my life dying and this is the biggest regret I have ever made and I have cut myself so deeply for ever thinking that not seeing her meant she'd still be here. 

I'm not talking about my mother, I'm talking about my Grandmother. I guess, I've never fully dealt with the loss, I've just always pushed it back. Like not talking about it meant it never happened and admitting I never went to see her meant I was normal. 

Facebook is one of the main reasons why I'm writing this. I just feel like my family has moved on, have dealt with her passing and me, I'm still moving on. I see them post photos on her birthday and say R.I.P on the date she passed away. Then there's me. I can't let myself post that because that means she's never coming back. I need her to come back. 
This year was the first time in 9 years I finally posted a picture, I posted it on instagram and it tore me apart. I bawled. I haven''t fully dealt with this loss and I don't think I ever will. I feel like my life doesn't consist if my favourite person isn't there. I feel like no matter what ahppens I will always be disappointed in myself. Disappointed she can't meet Max. Disappointed she can't see how far I've come. Disappointed I can't go to her grave. Disappointed I never went and saw her. 
This post has taken like 4 tries and each time I end in tears. 
So I'm going to end it here with a song that reminds me of her and makes me cry every single time. 

I will love you forever, R.I.P

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Life Update

Over the past month so much has changed. 

I've cut out soft drink (with exception of Friday night) and I feel so much better after only a week! I've started exercising with my friend twice a week (I would say three times because that's what we made a deal on but we haven't had three times since we started). Although the food is still a problem I need to solve at least I'm starting somewhere. If I can fully cut soft drink for at least a month, I know I will be able to cut such awful things out of my life. 

Always

Saving is going really well (except for Friday as well, opps). Last month I almost saved all of my pay. Which means I can do it and that makes me happy too. 

I haven't let my sadness bother me as much either. If I've found someone or something has made me upset, I walk away and find something else I can focus on, whether that be youtube, tumblr or even just some silly little t.v. show that can take my mind off my life for even a second. 

How is your life going?
I hope your year is going as planned (: 

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Have you ever, ever felt like this?

Feeling down or sick can be the worst, not feeling like doing anything except stay in bed and watching your guilty pleasure (mine, it's the OC at the moment, can not get enough!). This weekend has been one of those. 

I've been feeling down, out of it. Like everything I need to get done by the end of the year is drowning me already. I know I have heaps of time for all these things (over 6 months) but I still can't find myself being happy/excited about these prospects.