Achievements?

Hey guys it's Jess. 
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Over the past few weeks a whole lot has happened in my life (not to me, but to my friends/family). It has made me think about how much I feel like I haven't achieved for my life in the last 19 years. It started with tonight (Tuesday) thinking about how my brother is getting married next weekend. My brother is obviously older then me, but it is a scary thought to think that just in a week's time he will be a married man and I will have a sister-in-law. 
It's also made me think about what I haven't achieved that so many other people my age have. It sounds pretty stupid to write a 'things I haven't achieved' when I've only been alive 19 years and 8 months. 
But instead of just writing this I haven't achieved I'm going to write 'things I have achieved'. That could be in a few weeks time though. 

Something that so many of my friends have done in the past year is moved out of home. I am so excited to finally move out of my house but it makes me so nervous to think one day I'll have to pay my way in life and I feel as if I'm failing as an 'adult' because I haven't moved out yet. 

Another thing so many people I know have already got is a full time job. Me I have two casual jobs where in one of them I'd rather not. It is also frustrating when people you know from high school come in and like look down on you because you're still packing shelves or serving or whatever. 

Perfect grades have never been my domain and hearing that people are getting HD and D's for all of their assignments makes you feel really bad about yourself. It also makes it hard for me when my brothers do courses harder then mine and come home with those grades. 

I haven't even owned my first car yet. UGH. 

I can go on and on but this is making me so angry. See you next week!

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Yes I know, two in a weekend OMG, but this has something to do with next weeks.
Shhhhh. 

Worst Fears.

Hey guys it's Jess!

Now I went and saw The Lone Ranger yesterday with one of my all time favourite people. When watching this film it had 2 of my absolute most hated fears and I thought that this would be a great opportunity to get to know each other (me in particular) through our fears. 

Let's Begin!

Fear 1.

Crows! I am absolutely afraid of crows. Now let me tell you there is no real reason behind this phobia of mine it's just there. I don't even think I've had it for very long but just the thought of these birds makes me skwrim. I once was almost in tears trying to get to my class for university because there was a crow in the corridor (my friend actually thought I was waiting for her, I was not. [opps]). Like I just cannot stand them. 

Also The Lone Ranger has like this one main crow in it and at the very beginning it likes comes to life and I like piss myself because it's like jumping at me and I want to die rather than sit through this movie and my friend had brought someone along (I have met her but only once) and she was like 'What?' and my friend had to tell her how s&*! scared I am of them and you just hear her laugh throughout the cinema (it was terrifying). 

Fear 2. 

Blood in mouths! Ok this isn't really like I'm afraid of it I just find it really disgusting (so I mean we picked a perfect movie for Jess to see). As you know I am studying to be a teacher qualifying in Early Childhood, which means I do come across a lot of loose teeth in my profession and with loose teeth brings blood in mouths. I don't know WHAT it is about this but I just cannot really deal with it. Usually when they come up to me I have to send them to wash their mouths out before I even think about dealing with the tooth situation. 

Fear 3. 

Dead Animals. When I was about 12 we had 3 birds in a cage down the back of my house. One day I went to see the birds because my dog was jumping and barking at it (by this stage 1 had flown away and 1 had died) so I went down to see what was the problem and there looking at me was this dead bird. I freaked out and almost threw up! I had to go tell my parents that this bird was dead and they were trying to tell me to take it out and put it in a plastic bag (the thought of this story is making me want to puke!) I just said to them I couldn't. When asked why I told them I'm afraid of dead animals and their response was you sit on dead animals all the time, you eat dead animals at dinner. So to clarify because you are probably thinking the same as my parents, I can't handle the fully like formed dead animals like the one in the photograph (I had to wait until I had finished typing this whole blog to actually put the photo up). 

Fear 4. 

The dark. A lot of the people I know, know I am afraid of the dark and as I'm getting older I'm realising it's not so much the dark it's what may be in the dark that I am afraid of. At the moment I've been doing fine but I figure it comes it loads. When I watch shows on murder or kidnapping (which is actually a favourite past time of mine) I seem to have a lot more difficulty with the dark than I would have in the times I don't watch/read about those things. 

So there is just four of my biggest fears! I have like 2 other blogs on the backburner but didn't know how to write about the topics so hopefully one of them will be up next week. (Spoiler alert!!! One is about boy bands! How cools is that (;). 

Have a fantastic week.

See you next week!

My song on repeat this week:

One Direction - I would

Death in the Digital Age.

Hey guys it's Jess!

I have never been able to get my head around death and I mean I'm sure that's a normal reaction. Throughout my 19 years of living I've experienced three people die, the first person I did not really know but she was my aunt. Which meant that I as an 8 year old cried at her funeral, however I did not know what was actually going on. Now that I've experienced other deaths I still however do not know what actually happens. 

Which brings me to the point of this weeks post. Death. This week hasn't come with someone who died who I was close with however it came from the death of (if you've been living under a rock) Cory Monteith. I've watched this man on Glee for the last four years. He was not my favourite character nor was he my 'idol', but it was still a heart breaking moment to know that he died (yes, I know why he died, so whatever). 

What made me sick was that not only did I find out almost right after he was found, there were many news reports and speculations about his death when you just searched his name. It makes me sad to think that that can happen so closely to someone's death. 
Which brings me to my next point the Digital Age. Growing in such a technological age has made me reap the benefits and the hurt of this technology. By being able to see someone's death before even the family know (yes this has happened) makes me SICK a family should know before the whole world. 

Social media allows us to stay in touch, get to know and understand people we have met/never met in our lives which makes it difficult to say that we never share anything about ourselves. A lot of teenagers share everything. What happens when something tragic happens to them? When they stop uploading facebook statuses? When they stop uploading selfies on instagram? Everyone they know will know something has happened, they will talk and they will speculate which means that is there too. Search their name you'll find it I'm sure. 


The point of this was just I'm disappointed and scared about where our technology in this time is going to take us. What is the future going to hold for us? 

See you next week!








Song I've been listening to one repeat this week!